Let’s talk about keeping dogs and men at bay.. actually, stray dogs and creepy men. (not every dog and every man!)
READER DISCRETION RECOMMENDED. ARTICLE ONLY FOR WOMEN AUDIENCE.
THIS WAS WRITTEN PURELY FOR FUN. NOT INTENDED TO OFFEND ANYBODY.
Do not take it too personally, especially the dog-lovers and the men who read it in spite of the caution.
Here you go…
Yup.. I know, you want be safe right.. from creepy men and stray dogs. Well, here are the tips I have learnt through my own observations and some research… yup, been there.. you are not alone.. none of us are! 😉
Firstly, let me tell you that both these creatures need almost similar treatment when it comes to keeping them away, which is exactly why I brought them together.. you will see.. 🙂
SIGNS OF AGGRESSION: I ‘ll be detailing about dogs and you can of course correlate with the other creature in question. When you see a dog with lifted tail, waving.. look out.. it isn’t friendly always, it could mean potential attack. Now you can correlate. 😉 Other signs of aggression in dog include sticking up their ears (men: eyes).. and then sticking up of hair in both.
DO NOT LOOK: Now, first things first.. do not make an attempt to look into either of the creature’s eyes. Nope, the movies that show controlling of dogs with eyes are bull-shit..may be that might work with pet dogs but definitely never with strays and men. Dogs derive the meaning that you are a threat and of course men derive their own meanings too.. and both the creatures follow you.
NEVER SMILE: Nope, never ever smile at them! Their dictionaries are different!
DO NOT RUN: Most importantly, do not run! Dogs have this natural instinct to chase anything that runs and they try to outrun you and in the process may even bite you. Remember that you can never outrun a dog and dogs try to take you down and you never wanna be on floor, trust me. well, coming to men.. when u run, they have a natural intuition that tells them that you understood that they are after you and that only makes it easy for them to take the deal to the next level.. besides, they find a game in chasing you too… just like the stray dogs.. though not literally. Wait a minute, also literally!
So, keep your composure and try hard and ignore both the creatures coming after you. Let them think that you didn’t notice and that even if u have noticed, you don’t really care.. that way, their interest and instincts fade away.
BARKING DOGS SELDOM BITE: well, that’s kinda true but only if you stay away from them. Dogs bark to mark their territory. They generally come to the boundary of their territory and bark. Never even try to get past the boundary, just walk away. Similarly, men who talk rubbish (yup, we all know such creeps exist), they seldom do anything right away. They are trying to threaten you to make you weak and a weak prey is easy. And even sometimes, they talk to make you look worried and thereby derive their sadistic satisfactions (I know what you r thinking, of course dogs are better!). All you have to do is… ignore the barking creatures and you should be fine.
WALK WITH PEOPLE: See to it that you are not alone if you are not good at handling the creatures.. because a group is generally not targeted by both.
CALL FOR HELP: If you are alone and you have no clue how to deal, better call for help from the local people. Local people know the creatures well, you are safe.. dogs leave you alone thinking that you are not a threat and guys leave you alone thinking that you are not an easy target.
PACIFY THE CREATURES: This is best done by gestures that send signals that you don’t care about their existence.. like not looking at them, yawning, doing your job, walking away, acting like u didn’t hear whats said /barked. Do not lift your footwear at the creature.. that aggravates both of them, threatening the former and hurting the ego of the latter. Do not lift anything for that matter.Carry on with your job.. may be take a phone call.. dogs leave u thinking you are cool, men leave you thinking you have someone to help. whatever you do.. just be casual.. if they notice you are weak, they got you!
AVOID PACKS: Now comes the most important tip… about packs… dear reader, if the dogs or the men are in pack.. they are always a danger irrespective of the signals or the barks that they send your way. when you see a sign of pack, stay away… even the most innocent creature, be it a man or a dog is enough dangerous to hurt you, be it physically or emotionally, when in a pack. They just feel stronger and act stupider.
Finally, let me conclude by telling you the real secret which you might have already known… both the creatures aren’t as brave as they seem.. 99% of the time. It is the main reason why dogs do what they do, as a part of protecting themselves and their territory. And it is a reason why men do what they do too.. a real brave man never causes trouble.. they generally walk the main road and ask u out decently, they are brave enough to approach u, have a mature conversation and also can take a no in a grown-up way. So, the thing is.. if you act brave enough and follow your tips, you are safe most of the times because you are just dealing with cowards.. just learn to deal in the right way.
you r welcome 😛
In response to daily prompt “subdued”